y did u give ur computer a hand job?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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