i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
