not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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