do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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