just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
