So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
