no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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