so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
