Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
