That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you inspire me to be a worse person
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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