you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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