i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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