I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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