there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
