He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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