he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
