FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Pooping to opera.
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