the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
