We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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