butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
