I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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