I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
