Welp...herpes.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
