have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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