just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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