Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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