I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
