I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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