I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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