People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
