She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
