Whod you bang
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
