I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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