I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
