I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need water and some morals
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
