I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
