He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
