Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
