you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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