i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
