Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
