I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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