I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
