everyone is single if you try hard enough
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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