this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
God, I missed his penis.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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