So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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