I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
