You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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