he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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