as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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