that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
