Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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